General Discussion

Christmas Dinner Highlights and Lowlifes

Puffin3 | Dec 27, 201406:36 AM     129

‘Roz’ sent her younger sister to Christmas dinner this year.
First the highlights.
A family member works on a 14 acre organic turkey farm.
He brought a 22 lb free range organic turkey. Which he was in charge of cooking. He did an excellent job. He wet brined the bird and it was very juicy and tasty and the texture was perfect.
As it was basically his turkey he also was in charge of carving it. Which he did to perfection. (Our hosts also went to a lot of work to offer us all a delicious dinner. Thankyou to them.)
For his efforts he decided he would have both drum sticks……which he carved first off the bird and put in a small cooler to eat later.
There were extended family we get to see sometimes only at Christmas. It was great to catch up on what’s happening with them.
Two extended family members brought a surprise cousin. Never got her name.
Early twenties. ‘Wearing a pair of those skin tight leotards with Edvard Munch’s ‘The Scream’ printed on them.
She never spoke a word to anyone but the occasional whisper to her cousin.
She was sort of attractive in a ‘Maltese Falcon’ way.
Her cousin told the family the Maltese Falcon was a vegetarian.
The meal was buffet style.
She helped herself to a big heaping plate of food including a big piece of prized thigh meat.
She looked down and stared at the turkey and repeatedly poked it with her folk. It looked like she was daring the piece of turkey to try and jump up and make a run for it.
She took a couple of nibbles of the mashed potatoes then pushed her plate away and got up and went to sit in the living room.
After dinner the present opening ritual began.
This year someone had arranged some sort of deal where everyone brings a gift for about $25 (I spent over $50.00 but who’s counting?) and numbers are drawn and when it’s your turn you can ‘steal’ someone else’s gift they’ve opened or take one from under the tree.
The problem was the Maltese Falcon didn’t bring a gift. Which resulted in me sitting empty handed at the end of the process. In one regard I cared less.
But at the end of the process the ‘MF’ ended up with an unwrapped bottle of spiced rum. She literally never let go of it from then on.
The Maltese Falcon and her cousin and husband left. Maltese Falcons having the great eyes they do she spotted a large unopened box of ‘Black Magic’ chocolates and swooped down to grab it as she was going out the door without saying so much as “FU”. One talon with a ‘death grip’ around the neck of the bottle of spiced rum the other clamped on the box of chocolates.

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