Thanks to all who read my earlier complaint, and particularly to those who responded with sympathy (which was especially valuable after my anger had faded) and with suggestions (which I will try to bear in mind if I'm ever again in a similar situation).
Chowhound does make a difference. I was recently contacted by Keith Treyball, manager of BLT Steak, who can only have gotten my email address from the posting I left on this board. In addition to an apology, he offered us a Manhattan or two (or a bottle of wine--I will have to give this some thought) and dessert, as inducement to return, as his 'special guests.' It will be some time before I can take him up on his offer, but I do intend to, and I look forward to posting a more positive review at some later date.