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Healthy Soda for Grownups

Society as a whole has gotten wise to the fact that when you drink Mountain Dew or its Coke product equivalent, you’re pumping your body full of empty calories. And

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Fake Meat Makes You Feel Smarter

Over the years, I’ve become increasingly irritated by the use of the word smart to describe faux meat products. Smart Dogs, Smart Ground [beef], or, in this case, Smart Cutlets—the

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New Superfood Drink from Coffee Bean Fruit

KonaRed is a so-called “superfruit” drink, delivering antioxidants and their implied health benefits in a pretty red bottle. The twist here is that the fruit in question is the fruit

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The Dessert of Michael Pollan’s Nightmares

I’ve been to funerals that were more fun than making Reese’s Dessert Bars, and it’s not as though I have a lot of dead enemies. The problem with this Betty

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Fountain Sodas in Gummy Form

It’s hard not to admire the ambition of Trolli’s new Soda Poppers candy. A single package contains gummy-style candies claiming to taste of cola, cherry cola, root beer, orange soda,

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Pringles Pizza Wheat Stix Discovered on Vacation

I first encountered Pringles’ pizza-flavored Baked Wheat Stix as litter on the ground along the shore of Lake Superior, a nasty little bit of modern marketing amid a panorama of

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Healthy Cookie with Credible Goodness

Anticipating a trend of leaner, healthier indulgences—or what certainly should be a trend, given America’s penchant for both sweets and overeating—Nabisco has released a new line of whole-grain cookies capitalizing

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Caution: Dangerous Waffles Ahead!

The last thing we need is another way to consume waffles, but here comes Julian’s Recipe, a premade Liège waffle that I spotted at Whole Foods and found irresistible based

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Yerba Mate Shot Made Me Sleepy

Here’s what happened when I purchased two Guayakí Yerba Mate Organic Energy Shots and (for comparison’s sake) a two-pack of 5-Hour Energy shots: The grandmotherly checkout clerk at Lunds informed

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Whey: A Self-Congratulatory Breakfast Treat

The story behind tera’swhey is this: Wisconsinite Tera Johnson decided to work with small family farms and artisanal cheesemakers to transform their whey (a by-product of cheesemaking) into a profitable

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Gin That’s Actually Probably Vodka

The initial email pitching the newly launched Nolet’s Silver Dry Gin brand got my attention. The description of this $50-a-bottle luxury tipple went like this: “Nolet’s Silver is a modern

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Vegan Cheese Kinda Melts

As a Wisconsin dude born and raised, I find the idea of vegan cheese to be absurd, vaguely offensive, and a little bit frightening. Why would anyone not drink milk

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Quiznos Hops on the Farmers’ Market Bandwagon

We try Quiznos’s new salad against a salad made from actual farmers’ market produce. Guess which one is better?

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Trashy, Tacky Cocktail Pouches

Every so often, while browsing the shelves of a rural Wisconsin gas station, I stumble upon a strange yet slickly packaged consumer good and think: “My goodness, this is probably

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Chunky Aloe Beverage Produces Surprises

If you were to say to me, “I have an idea for a new beverage,” I’d counter with, “OK, tell me that idea.” And if you said, “My idea involves

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Trader Joe’s Canned Coffee Doesn’t Suck

It seems like such an easy prospect: Package cold, sweetened, flavored coffee in cans and sell it. Ingredient cost is relatively low (rising coffee prices notwithstanding), profit margin is high,

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Supposedly French Liquor Is Merde

A 30-proof beverage described as “a perfect nectar of French white wine, ultra-premium French vodka, French sparkling wine, exotic fruit flavors, and a touch of carbonation,” NUVO was created by

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Gum Flavored Like High-Calorie Desserts

Every marketer is seemingly searching for the zero- or near-zero-calorie dessert, and Extra Dessert Delights is a Willy Wonka–ish spin on the endeavor: dessert in the form of gum.

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Guy Fieri Barbecue Sauce Allays Suspicions

Why would we trust Guy Fieri to sell us barbecue sauce? And why, for that matter, would we trust Guy Fieri to do anything whatsoever? Detractors of the spiky-haired TV

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Like Water, Only Enhanced

More interesting than boring old water, but not as bad for you as soda. That’s what they’re going for with MiO, intended to “enhance” your water.

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Buy It for the Bottle

TY KU Citrus Liqueur practically jumps off of the shelf thanks to its pyramidal bottle, Asian character–embossed silver cap, and mouthwash-green liquid contents. “There is,” you’ll probably think, “no freakin’

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