It is now literally impossible to sell out.
That’s where things are at when AC/DC joins the ranks of Iron Maiden and Whitesnake by launching a line of branded wines. On that front: a sneak preview of what we no doubt have to look forward to in the months and years to come.
THE PRODUCT: Public Enemy: The Pasta Sauce
THE PITCH: It takes years of angry defiance and culture-changing agitation to make a pasta sauce this rich and delightful. BELIEVE the hype—Public Enemy Pasta Sauce is delicious!
THE PRODUCT: The Replacements’ Microwavable Swedish Meatball on a Stick
THE PITCH: Minnesota’s great punk rock originators have teamed up with Minnesota’s great State Fair to bring America a savory bite of Sweden on a stick.
THE PRODUCT: Iron and Wine’s Wine with Iron
THE PITCH: We all need more iron in our diets, right? Well, “Iron and Wine is the Wine with Iron.” Easy enough to remember. And don’t forget to enjoy “The Devil Never Sleeps”—it’s a little jauntier than the rest of the band’s sad-sack stuff.
THE PRODUCT: Radiohead’s “Special R” Breakfast Cereal
THE PITCH: A healthy, balanced breakfast isn’t just for outgoing, nonbrooding, emotionally stable people anymore! Special R provides the full recommended daily allowance of vitamin D, iron, zinc, and enigmatically moody electronic beats.
THE PRODUCT: Amy Winehouse: The Nonalcoholic Fruit Spritzer
THE PITCH: You don’t have to go to rehab for loving this delicious, refreshing beverage made with 100 percent real fruit juice! Except you might, because it’s so delicious that it’s addictive. Oh, hang on, someone just knocked on the door and dropped off some kind of a legal summons. Looks like it’s from the Winehouse estate.