I can’t really think of anything I’d want to jam into my computer’s USB port more than a flash drive filled with beer. Mmm, drunken tech …

But instead of glee, the image of a Budweiser-filled flash drive inspired an existential crisis in Gizmodo blogger Dan Nosowitz, who turns the experience into a philosophical rant worthy of Sartre:

Is capitalism really that great, if it leads to beer-filled USB flash drives with “optional customizable floating objects” inside?Should we Americans really be that pleased with our free speech, if it means I get emails from people who make flash drives with BEER in them? …I can’t pretend like the world is the same after this. The sun doesn’t shine as bright. The air doesn’t taste as sweet.

Perhaps to soothe his soul, Nosowitz just needs to crack open the drive and sample the sweet, sweet beer inside.

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