Writing from South Minneapolis, Minnesota—home of the cheese-stuffed Jucy Lucy hamburger —I’m at an undeniable “glass house” disadvantage in terms of singling out A Hamburger Today’s new delicacy for any kind of nutritional critique. But here goes: I’m proposing the Hamburger Fatty Melt is a nutritional atrocity, albeit kind of a brilliant one.

The Melt is described as follows:

From top to bottom:

* Grilled cheese sandwich as bun top
* Four-ounce beef patty
* Grilled cheese sandwich as bottom bun

Got that? It’s a burger with two grilled cheese sandwiches as its bun.

A simplified adaptation of a Fishersville, Virginia, restaurant’s infelicitously named “Chubby Melt,” the Fatty Melt stands as mute testament to modern America’s gastronomic tendency toward self-annihilation. Or something. Time to fire up the cast iron griddle and see how it tastes.

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