Hot Pockets Sideshots

Hot Pockets Sideshots

I Paid: $2.99 for a box of four (prices may vary by region)

Taste: 4 stars

Marketing: 1 stars

After acquiring three different flavors of the recently released Hot Pockets Sideshots (Sloppy Joes, Buffalo Style Chicken, and Cheeseburgers), I stored the snacks in a basement chest freezer. After that, I waited. And waited. And waited, hoping that somehow they would disappear of their own accord so that I could be spared the need to eat yet another profoundly depressing Hot Pockets item.

But they did not disappear, and so I was forced to face a product that is essentially a mass-market, frozen, microwavable stuffed dinner roll.

Each Sideshot is a hot little bomb of conventional flavor. Surprisingly—no, truly, shockingly—that flavor is well balanced and earnest. The roll that’s wrapped around each Sideshot is soft and tender but holds its shape and packs a bit of actual wheat flavor—these Hot Pockets are neither fall-apart squishy nor Wonder Bread flavorless.

The Buffalo Style Chicken Sideshots had a decent spice level and a detectable real chicken taste; the Sloppy Joes had beefy little chunks of meat, a tomato kick, and the taste of onion; and the Cheeseburgers were a well-balanced mix of beef, onion, and American cheese. Not overly sweet, or chemical-laden, or salty, Sideshots surprise with their simplicity and relatively comprehensible list of ingredients.

If you’re feeding your family these things for dinner, something has gone terribly wrong. But as a late-night post-alcohol snack, they’re a frozen, consumer-friendly version of what White Castle used to be before deteriorating to its current sad state. High cuisine? No. Expectation-defying? Most definitely.

See more articles