I Paid: $2.99 for a box of four (prices may vary by region)
But they did not disappear, and so I was forced to face a product that is essentially a mass-market, frozen, microwavable stuffed dinner roll.
Each Sideshot is a hot little bomb of conventional flavor. Surprisingly—no, truly, shockingly—that flavor is well balanced and earnest. The roll that’s wrapped around each Sideshot is soft and tender but holds its shape and packs a bit of actual wheat flavor—these Hot Pockets are neither fall-apart squishy nor Wonder Bread flavorless.
The Buffalo Style Chicken Sideshots had a decent spice level and a detectable real chicken taste; the Sloppy Joes had beefy little chunks of meat, a tomato kick, and the taste of onion; and the Cheeseburgers were a well-balanced mix of beef, onion, and American cheese. Not overly sweet, or chemical-laden, or salty, Sideshots surprise with their simplicity and relatively comprehensible list of ingredients.
If you’re feeding your family these things for dinner, something has gone terribly wrong. But as a late-night post-alcohol snack, they’re a frozen, consumer-friendly version of what White Castle used to be before deteriorating to its current sad state. High cuisine? No. Expectation-defying? Most definitely.