What did excite us?
You did it in the Hamptons? At a house you describe as "a true beach house … with an extra bedroom, everything I needed in a kitchen, and a small guest suite over the garage?" And you rented it on a salary you got as a food writer?
You tell us it was "beyond East Hampton or Springs," by way of explanation … but to our knowledge, that means you were probably summering in Amagansett or (gasp) Montauk, home to Madoff and Paul Simon. No wonder you had raucous adulterous sex with a stranger who dealt in baked goods. It was the only way to get through the lonely nights, you poor thing you.