Winners: Good Eats, Anthony Bourdain, and Gina Neely. Losers: Semi-Homemade, Bobby Flay, and Giada De Laurentiis. The sardonic EPIE Awards hit the Web last week, and if you enjoy snarkcastically insightful commentary on the food television personalities who dominate the airwaves, you’ll probably enjoy this feature. It’s a product of Ann Arbor–area food blog Epic Portions and deserves praise for walking the razor-thin line between “sucking up” and “being an Internet tough guy.”

The awards also deserve some kudos for taking hard stands on subjective points …

“Alton Brown may be trying his best to achieve overexposure, but his primary endeavor, Good Eats, remains the greatest thing to happen to food programming since Julia Child.”

For distilling the awesomeness that is Bourdain …

“Tony Bourdain stands in his own league. He is Dave Brubeck, Miles Davis or Johnny Cash to the rest of the food world’s Nickelback. Women want him, and men want to be him.”

And for dropping in the occasional withering remark …

“Guess what, Bobby, you are officially more annoying than Guy Fieri.”

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