Cook’s Country lives up to its “fatass comfort food” mandate in the October/November edition*, providing a recipe for Apple Slab Pie, which serves 18 to 20. You’ve got to love the frankness of any recipe that puts slab in its title, even if this glazed behemoth inspires as much fear as excitement.

Using Animal Crackers to liven up its Pillsbury Unroll and Bake pie crust, the unorthodox Slab also leans on a reduced apple juice–butter-sugar glaze to kick up the sweet without overwhelming the apple. And upon careful consideration, the thing is actually less obscenely massive than you might expect, merely (?) covering an 18-by-13-inch baking sheet with a quadruple-layer sandwich of glaze, crust, apple filling, and crust.

And when you’ve got a block party to serve, desperate times call for desperate measures …

*Is it just me, or are things getting out of hand when a magazine is labeled TWO WHOLE MONTHS ahead of its actual release month? It’s still August! Christ!

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