The hosts, fictional couple Minty and Simon Marchmont, believe that food should be neither simple nor cheap—and by using absurd verbs in each step of every recipe, they demonstrate just how ridiculously complex cooking can be. In an episode featuring a Spanish spin on Yorkshire pudding, a dish they refer to as “Crapos en el Bujo,” they teach viewers to “alienate chorizo,” “exonerate fat,” and “waltz in milk until you get a lovely silk batter.” In the Marchmonts’ kitchen, vegetables aren’t “peeled”; they’re “embarrassed.” And the endangered sturgeon used to make fish and chips isn’t “skinned”; it’s “ashamed.”
The Marchmonts are also the proprietors of a fictional restaurant, the Quill and Tassel at Bray, where they keep a strict “No Beards and No Children policy.” Why no beards? Well, according to Simon’s food philosophy:
Beards are the enemy of culinary excellence. Can a bearded man eat Flayed Swordfish And Guava Millefeuille? Oh yes. Many times! The first time is merely an overture. For days afterwards, he’ll come back to haunt it, rehydrating barnacles of encrusted beard-fish with his salivating tongue.
But beard or no beard, once you catch a few of these silly segments, you may find yourself relishing Posh Nosh–isms for many meals to come.