I’m not a fast-food person. If I’m on the highway starving and we pull off at an exit to find only a McDonald’s, a KFC, and a Taco Bell, well then, I’m going to look for some Tic Tacs in my purse. Even so, some quick-service items still look yummy in commercials: fries, shakes, hamburgers glistening with delicious grease. But even tarted up by food stylists, KFC’s Famous Bowls strongly resemble the bins of scraped-off food leavings by the dishwashing station in school cafeterias. Who had the genius idea to lay down a bed of starch, cover it with limp corn, and then give it a roof of fried chicken, musky, gelatinous “gravy,” and melted cheese? It’s a concoction even nastier than Homer Simpson’s Good Morning Burger.

Who eats this crap? Clearly someone; perhaps thanks to KFC’s ridiculous publicity stunts, consumers rated the Bowls the “most memorable new product” of 2006. Chowhounds, on the other hand, are both intrigued and disgusted:

The commercial makes me sick to my stomach. It looks like they swept up the floor after a busy day at KFC and dumped it in a bowl.

against my own better instincts i tried one. score one for my instincts!!!!!!! it was horrendous. the chicken turns mushy because of the gravy, the potatos are blah, and the whole mess is way too salty…other than that it was delicious (gag).

I predict these will be wildly successful. These are the sort of thing that tasting focus groups always come up with: recombine existing ingredients and increase product size equals big sales. Look at Taco Bell, they basically just recombine meat/beans/skins/rice/cheese and give it a stupid name.

That said, I’d rather eat my own left buttock than put this in my mouth.

Ha ha ha ha ha! That was fun, wasn’t it? If you’re in the “intrigued” group, you may want to make your own Bowl at home. I know I certainly would.

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