I have been following Bill Shatner’s career for many years now. From his perpetually ripped shirt and scenery-chomping role AS … JAMESTKIRK … captainOF … the … USSENTERPRISE, to Travelocity huckster, to “singer,” to bizarre attorney on Boston Legal, not much has escaped my notice. (Not even Incubus, the second movie ever to be dialogued in Esperanto.) So imagine my partially chagrined astonishment when I realized that the oft-microdermabraded one had appeared in a campy cooking show.

Shatner joins the show’s dragalicious host, Betty Dee Lishous, on her trailer-park set to cook Kentucky burgoo, which Shatner claims is “a national dish of Kentucky, where they throw everything that is unnecessary into the pot, cook it forever, and then force you to eat it.” Aw, Shat, not the famous baked beans with a slop of good ol’ Tennessee whiskey? Bones would be so sad.

In a correspondent segment, Hedda Lettuce is on a quest to find Shatner’s famously awful album of spoken songs, The Transformed Man, and bawls out of cab windows at junkies to ask if they know who Shatner is before they pass out.

Throughout the segments, Betty’s band, the Kitchenettes, coo retro songs. By the end of the show, they coax Shatner to wail like a cat in a Cuisinart through their rendition of “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.”

Sadly, America was really not ready for a show like this, so all we have is this awesome pilot.

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