The Onion ran a brief (but hysterical) faux man-in-the-street roundup of opinions concerning Burger King’s recent announcement that it would move toward purchasing more humanely produced eggs and pork. Here’s the one that made me produce a spurting, nasal laugh that was so loud my fellow bus passengers didn’t even turn around because they assumed anyone who’d laugh like that must be dangerously insane:

Derrick Braswell,
Customer Support Operator
‘But the cages were what pushed all the flavor tight into the animals.’

Ha! Ha ha ha! Maybe we can restrain them with bacon somehow?

See more articles