In addition to being incredibly delicious and fairly good for your health, peanut butter has all kinds of great nonfood uses—helping remove gum from your hair, for example. And, of course, disproving evolution. AlterNet dug up an astounding video produced by evangelist minister Chuck Missler that uses a jar of plain ol’ PB to explain why the world just has to have been created by God. As the video’s narrator explains:

Evolution teaches that energy, such as lightning or heat, plus matter can occasionally create new life. Yet our entire food industry rests on the fact that this can never happen. If we examine a jar of peanut butter, it contains matter and is exposed to light and heat. But we never find new life inside—unless an outside life contaminates it.

Here we see a shot of an ant crawling through the jar, over the PB’s craggy surface; then the ant disappears and is replaced by fuzzy blue mold. Cut to the Reverend Missler, who holds up a different, sealed jar and adds his two cents:

If the theory of evolution is viable, then I should occasionally, by subjecting this to energy, end up having new life. … If I open this jar of peanut butter, maybe not often but on some occasion, I should find new life inside. And so [opens jar] you look inside—there’s no new life. And aren’t you glad! … You and I conduct, collectively, over a billion experiments every year, and we’ve done that for virtually a hundred years, and we never encounter new life.

How do you like them goobers, Darwin?! (Try them mashed up with some bananas—crazy-good.)

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