It’s all about the buzz this morning as Los Angeles wakes up to a high-end package of coffee stories, courtesy of the L.A. Times. From choosing it, brewing it, and drinking it, to cooking with it and the history of its connoisseurship, the Times writers have got it all covered. They’ve produced what amounts to a clip ‘n’ save primer for the wannabe coffee highbrow.

You want in-depth coffee reporting? You’ve got it:

The fact is, strong black coffee served in tiny cups is typical of a belt extending from Spain to Hungary by way of Italy and Austria. Elsewhere in Europe, people prefer weaker drip coffee served in big cups with sugar and cream. Coffee historian Ian Bersten suggests this reflects the division between wine-drinking and beer-drinking Europe—wine being strongly flavored and served in glasses while beer is mild and served in mugs.

Whew. I feel like I just went through the 40-hour barista training program at Starbucks.

What I need now is an espresso martini.

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