How do you make wine better? Slap a giant pink bow and cat ears on the label. This is what Sanrio thinks. The company behind Hello Kitty finally brought their childlike feline creation to the attention of wannabe sophisticates earlier this year with the release of her own line of wine. Now there are new varieties available just in time for the holidays. It’s a perfect gift for those spending Christmas alone with their cat. Because there’s no better way to drown your sorrows than in adolescent nostalgia and kawaii kitsch.

Sanrio, in conjunction with the Italian-based Torti Winery, just unveiled a brand new Pinot Noir and a sparkling rosé with limited edition packaging. They join the three existing wines in the collection, which consist of another  sparkling rosé, a Pinot Nero Vinified in White, and an updated “Sweet Pink” variety. All of the wines were produced in the Lombardy region of Italy, and not some surreal Japanese wonderland, contrary to popular belief.

While you may think the juxtaposition of a children’s character on an adult beverage is odd, well, Sanrio’s desire to cute-ify every product on the planet has a long history of lapsing into inappropriate territory. In the past, Hello Kitty has shown up on firearms (an item that’s illegal in her native Japan), and on products designed solely for intimate bedroom pleasure (Google that one at your own risk).

That makes this whole wine thing seem tame in comparison. Besides, Kitty White (that’s her proper name, by the way) is 43 years old. That’s double the legal drinking age limit, so she can sip all the rosé she wants. Plus after that whole existential debate over her identity—is she a cat or just the personification of a cat?– she deserves a drink. And a lifetime of therapy.

Header image courtesy of Sanrio.

Jessica is a former Associate Editor at Chowhound. Follow her on Twitter @volume_knob for updates on snacks and cats.
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