As the nation gears up for its annual Girl Scout Cookie–eating rampage, some folks are talking about the new variety on the block, the crescent-shape, lemon-flavored Savannah Smiles. There’s no reason for this—Savannah Smiles sound about as interesting as a new Taco Bell entrée made with a combination of tortillas, ground beef, and lettuce. But while the Scouts deserve credit for trying new recipes (and putting down some misguidedly healthy dogs such as Sugar-Free Chocolate Chips and Daisy Go Rounds), they could be pushing innovation harder. Here are five new flavors we’d gladly shell out for.
Fat Mints: Think of these as tiny hamburgers—the “buns” are two Thin Mints cookies, while the burger patty is a buttery dark chocolate ganache. Not low in calories, but very high in flavor.
Momofukookies: David Chang can copyright the Milk Bar’s Compost Cookie, but he can’t copyright the idea of shoving pretzel and potato chip bits into a chocolate/butterscotch chip cookie. It’s the perfect cookie for the moment, now that the American palate is officially tolerant of salty-sweet mash-ups, a trend attested to by the never-ending boom in bacon sweets.
Mint MILFanos: An acronym for “Moms I’d like to fawn over”—a tribute to Scout mothers everywhere, women who tirelessly taxi their little Scouts from school to meetings to home, sew insignia on sashes, and preside over the making of gold-sprayed pasta picture frames. Also: Mint Milanos are delicious.
Pecan Pies: How much pecan pie can you shove into a cookie? Roasted pecans, maple syrup, molasses, and a creamy “whipped cream” frosting top could make these turtlelike delights a force to be reckoned with.
Lil’ Bacos: A shortbread cookie boasting little bits of actual applewood-smoked bacon, a natural way to get middle-aged dudes a bit more pumped about Girl Scout Cookies. Not that Thin Mints know any real gender or age demographic.