Ate at the River Cafe tonight. My wife was dying to go after having eaten there in the past and loving it. Beautiful space. The menu reads pretty good, although not whoppingly inspired.
We (my wife and three kids) started with proscuitto and melon, which was delicious, a salad with gull eggs and asparagus, which was boring and undersalted, and grilled squid with peas.
That was followed by three primi courses. A risotto with proscutto, pasta with stinging nettles, and ravioli with ricotta and mint. The risotto was delicious but gone in three bites. All four of the ravioli were yummy. The other pasta was watery and overcooked.
For the mains we had a roasted pigeon and a veal shin. Both were vile. Both were grossly undersalted and the pigeon was as tough as a new sneaker. The veal shin which was off the bone (although still attached to plenty of tendon and other ineatable bits) came with more risotto.
Overall, this was far and away the worst meal of a week of eating in London. The best, by the way, were St. John and The Anchor and Hope. Not only was it the worst meal, but the price was insane; 250 pounds, and we didn't even stay for dessert! I know that peas, mint and proscuitto are in season, but they showed up in one form or another in EVERY freaking dish! Come on guys, try to change it up a little, will ya!?!?! Funny too, that with the insane prices you would think that the portion sizes would be reasonable. You would think that but you would be wrong. My nine year old even left hungry.
Overall, it'll be a cold day in hell before I go back. On the other hand, my kids did go nuts seeing Jack Black come out of the bathroom before their eyes.
Jack Black is cool, but not cool enough to justify ever going back to this decaying armpit.