Not About Food

Tell-Tale Terms


Not About Food 87

Tell-Tale Terms

MGZ | Aug 19, 2014 06:11 AM

We are lucky enough to live in a time of restaurant saturation. There are tons of places to eat in most American locales. Hell, if my unscientific observations and drunken calculations are accurate, there are actually three point two seven (3.27) pizza places for every adult in the State of New Jersey.

There is a grey cloud to this silver lining though. It seems everyone eats out more than ever and has opinions to share on the subject. Any dull, cocktail party has some turn of conversation that leads to folks recommending dinner places without solicitation and regaling you with glorious tales of mediocre chow. Ugghh!

Consequently, I've started to note certain words, phrases, and prefaces that set off warning sirens in my brain - spreading imaginary, yellow, "Caution: Do Not Enter" tape across the front door. So far, these have proven pretty good "tells":

"They have the BIGGEST portions!"

"It's my kids' favorite."

"They don't even HAVE vermouth." (Usually, detours into a vodka conversation . . . ."

"Make sure you try the fried calamari." (This one may be pretty NJ-centric, but it's become almost as ubiquitous a restaurant offering as tap water. Not sure why it's such a good trigger that the person speaking doesn't know much . . . .)

Anyway, you get the just. Are there things you hear from folks that make you rethink trying the spots they suggest?

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