Okay my fellow Chowhounders from across the country. I have just returned from a few days of eating and drinking and sleeping in your fair city. My findings.
Swissotel: out dated, dirty, rude, mismanaged and ick - EXCEPT for Jeffery's, delightful, yummy, great staff and I saw the Sec.of transportation (geesh! he's short).
We ended up switching from the hotel from hell to the Hay-Adams - breathtaking! location is great and the staff was amazing!!!! I can hardly wait to have our event here. They have a terrace that is unreal, looks directly into the white house front yard, or is it the back yard, I always get confused. Didn't sample the food but hell it's across the street from the white house! and we're only doing one lunch there.
We ate at The Palm - and of course it was yum! Service outstanding and creamed spinach - outrageously fattening but worth it.
I had frozen custard at some random place on I street and 17th 'ish' and now am trying to figure out why we don't have frozen custard on the West coast, must having something to do with longer bathing suit weather.
We ate lunch one day at Teaism - again - stupendous and I wish we had a place like this in SF. I had the Bento box with poached salmon, cucumber salad and edaname - 7.95$ - hello! I can't even ride the metro in SF for that.
I must admit I never found my crab house BUT I also didn't surf while I was there. I'm going to take Asun's suggestion and go with Annapolis Grill for the rustic seafood experience.
We had a delightful meal at the Harbor Club? near Sequoia. It's WAY new and the staff is still raw, but the food was decent and the atmosphere was lovely - ask to see the fish tank - it's a wall.
Sequoia still has the location rating but the food, drinks and service - not so much. Disappointing - although they are getting me for a cocktail party because let's face it location is 99% of the game.
We grabbed a quick lunch at the Hotel Washington - more for the view than anything - and well this is a place where the view was great but the service and food was AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even though the view was amazing - I wouldn't go back again. I asked about renting the terrace for a private party and she looked me up and down and said 'it's VERY expensive" = I felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Silly lady - I gave the HA my deposit 30 min later for their terrace which is nicer anyhow.
Thank you all for your wonderful wonderful wonderful suggestions - now pray for sunshine!