I sometimes feel like I live in a magic house completely uncontaminated by food pathogens and in which food can be left out without spoilage or infection. Guests may come dirty, but walk through the front door and are magically sterilized. Although I keep a very clean kitchen and store things properly, I just don't worry about food poisoning in my magic house.
What about you? How do you rate yourself, from food slob in a magic house to a follower of all the food handling "rules" in a dark, contaminated universe?
Please keep this lighthearted and fun. Just provide your approach. No citing of USDA or other rules and recommendations, please.