Not About Food

How would you handle someone who doesn't make an effort to pay?


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Not About Food

How would you handle someone who doesn't make an effort to pay?

The Oracle | | May 21, 2012 11:09 AM

I went to dinner with my cousin's adult daughter. She is in her late 20's. My husband and I are about ten years older. The get together was her idea (a: "hey, I'd like to see you, let's get together for dinner"). Great, plans were made. She came out our way, she told us about her eating restrictions (she's doing a low-carb diet), we decided on a place, and the three of us headed out.

When it came time to order, things began to get a bit bizarre. She said: 'what should we do"? and was acting like she couldn't make up her mind on what to order. We (all) finally decided to share a bunch of items and that was that.

When the bill came, she didn't make any effort to pay. The bill sat on the table and my husband finally put his credit card on the check and it was whisked away.

In retrospect (now that I have had time to think/stew about it), I should have looked it over, figured out what she owed, and told her "why don't you put in 'x' for your portion". At the time, I was more blown away by her apparent expectation that we would pick up the tab and her lack of offering to cover her portion.

We are, by no means, well off - so, I know there wasn't an expectation from that side of things. The only thing I can think of is there was an expectation since we are the 'older' relatives - but, even that seems like nonsense to me! I have no doubt her parents cover her tab when they go out (she still lives at home), but I don't consider us to be the same as her parents. I consider her to be a peer vs. a responsibility! Now I just feel like a free meal ticket!

I feel my lesson is learned and, unfortunately, would not do this again (unless I was prepared to pick up the tab). Thankfully, the bill wasn't outrageous, but I'm still finding myself miffed at the entitled expectation and my lack of saying something at the time.