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Burger King

Double Homicide at Burger King

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Double Homicide at Burger King

kkachurak | Nov 27, 2009 08:23 PM

It had been quite some time since I had set foot (or tire) in (or through) a local Burger King. Recent reading through Chow Boards and grubgrade.com had left with me with the knowledge that the double cheeseburgers were now just a buck, and a new product called a "cupcake milkshake" existed.

So I figured I'd pop in and kill two birds with one stone.

The double cheeseburger was, in a word, insulting. I'm fully aware that fast food products never come out looking like their pictures, but this was just criminal. There was a good half inch of bun hanging excessively past the meat around the entire circumference of the burger. The pictures show it with two slices of cheese - I received only one. The ketchup and mustard was haphazardly "spat" on, while the pickles were piled one on top of the other so that they were all, unfortunately, delivered into my mouth during one unsatisfying bite. The bread was stale, the "meat" was dry, the condiments were sparse, and I didn't have the stomach to go beyond four bites. I didn't even disrespect my dog enough to bring the leftovers home to her.

Moved on to the "cupcake shake" and was driven to dry heaves. The entire concoction was served up with a giant straw, implying super thickness, or chunks of something (cake perhaps?)
Instead, the overly sweetened, viscous, yellow liquid reminded me of the bile my aforementioned dog coughs up on an empty stomach when she's protested her healthy kibble for days. I couldn't tolerate more than one mouthful.

Both items headed for the trash, as I ran for my car, and the window clings of the pale vampire and the hispanic werewolf stared at me coldly from the storefront.

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