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it's the end of days for the blind tiger ale house

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it's the end of days for the blind tiger ale house

mrnyc | Dec 2, 2005 01:37 PM

people have asked and wondered, so fyi below is official word about the closing of one of the best craftbeer bars around, the blind tiger ale house. it's from an email:

"Dear Blind Tigerites:
>
> I've got some bad news. I meant to tell you sooner, but with all the
> hurricanes and earthquakes, I didn't want to depress you further. Now
> that we have a strategy for victory in Iraq, however, and hurricane
> season is over, and the Pakistanis finally have some blankets, and the

> bird flue pandemic is still a ways off, and the housing boom hasn't
> crashed yet, and we haven't run out of oil, I feel like this is a good

> time to tell you the Blind Tiger is closing. We're still open of
> course, but we're basically a dead bar walking. Our execution is set
> for Tues Dec 27th at 4 a.m. There will be no reprieve. The good news
> is, according to a recent scientific study, stress does not cause
> cancer. If it did, the Blind Tiger would be taking us with her.
>
> According to the official story, our landlord is renovating the
> building for some really expensive apartments, and he wants to replace

> us with a Marc Jacobs store. If he let us stay, we might keep his new
> tennants up at night. I tried to tell him our stereo only has one
> working speaker left, and it doesn't always work. He didn't care. I
> also said you guys would be really really quiet. He told me Starbucks
> was hiring and they had a good pension plan. Gentrification is pretty
> funny until it happens to you.
>
> Don't worry, we've got our own "Strategy for Victory." The Small
> Business Administration is offering cheap commercial property in Iraq,

> and they're throwing in paramilitary training for anyone who's
> interested. After searching fruitlessly for an affordable space in New

> York, we decided to purchase an excellent corner in an up and coming
> section of Fallujah. It was even cheaper than some of the other
> properties because it's still behind enemy lines.
> They say that if you can make it in New York, you can make it
> anywhere. Well, we didn't make it. Maybe we'll have better luck
> opening a micro-beer bar in the middle of a jihad.
>
> In any case, the most important thing to remember in all of this is
> that the landlord has a dumpster with our name on it, and there are
> only 25 drinking days left before he carts us away. I suggest you use
> them wisely.
>
> I'll keep you informed as to further developments.
> Adam Avery will be visiting us on Weds Dec 14th, as planned, to help
> us implode with a bang. Also, it was Brian Yaussi's birthday
> yesterday. We were having an event so we couldn't celebrate it
> properly, but we'll make up for it this Monday night at 6pm. Please
> join us in a toast to one of the founders of this place.
>
> And keep your head up...Your a Tigerite for God's sake...
>
> If you wish to vent about the injustice of all of this, write us
> directly at tigerale@msn.com."

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