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Manhattan Lunch

Bond 45: HORRIFIC lunch there today (long)

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Bond 45: HORRIFIC lunch there today (long)

Sheena | May 25, 2005 10:31 PM

I saw a decent posting or two several months ago here about Bond 45 and decided to try it for lunch with my boss and two business associates today. I would've been better off feeding them dirty water dogs! We ordered an appetizer of fried calamari for the table. It was way,way undercooked (the breading was nearly white),tasteless, rubbery and unbelievably oversalted. Even worse, it had shrimp in it (did they think they were doing us a favor?) to which my boss is highly allergic. Took forever to get it taken away- it also took three requests to get water. The waiter finally told us they couldn't give it to us yet since they had no clean water glasses! I pointed out that in a pinch ANY freaking glass can hold water so after another 10 minutes we got some water in wine glasses.

I ordered pasta Bolognese- waiter says "we have none today". This was NOT a special and the restaurant wasn't crowded (it was about 12:30) so how can an Italian place just decide not to make a meat sauce that day?? Went with the lemon sole with butter and almonds- eh. Pretty tasteless but at least no one had emptied a salt shaker on it. My boss had spaghetti carbonara- $9 for a miniscule portion which was rife with VERY fatty ham chunks. The other two entrees (I've mercifully forgotten them) were just OK.

Although the waiter was all smiles, the service was incredibly lousy. The aforementioned water issue was bad enough, but I saw a first today- one of others at my table actually had a loaded fork in midair on it's way to his mouth and his plate was literally snatched out from under him, even though it had more food on it! Yikes! And when we first sat down and told the staff the table legs were very wobbly , they sent a busboy over to stuff sugar packets under it- too bad he ignored the fact we kept telling him he was shoring up the wrong leg.

Finally the desserts. My boss ordered the cannolis and asked the waiter to hold the blueberry sauce. Smiley tells her "I can't give it to you without the sauce", at which point I got more than a little assertive and TOLD him he would be holding the sauce. But what an exercise in futility- he did manage to bring out the cannolis sans sauce, but they were some avant guarde sort made with tuille shells instead of cannoli shells and promptly disintergrated. My tartufo didn't resemble any one I've ever had - it was two balls of mediocre ice cream rolled in chopped nuts. The one and only bright spot (besides the fact that my boss and dining companions have a sense of humor, thank God) was the cheesecake which was nice and fluffy and lemony.

All I can say is stay far, FAR away. You know a place is the pits when you realize that Carmine's looks like Per Se in comparison...

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