Carnival (Food) of Souls

What a difference a year makes. Last year, we were all hopped up on deep-fried Coke and hotdish on a stick.

This year’s fair-food coverage is much more circumspect. The Pittsburg, Kansas, newspaper the Morning Sun has printed a handy hot sheet explaining how far one would need to walk to erase those “midway munchies.” Cotton candy? A mere 1.5 miles will do the trick. Thirty-two-ounce soft drink? You’ll have to hoof it for 2.5 miles. Stay away from the deep-fried candy bar, unless you’ve parked in the faraway auxiliary lot—it’ll be nearly five miles to burn that baby off.

The article has some levelheaded advice: Drink plenty of water, wear comfy shoes, and choose just one treat to sit down and eat, instead of nibbling your way from the petting zoo to the clogging competition.

Mulling over the options for your one treat? This video of food on a stick at the Minnesota State Fair might help you finalize your decision. Or, if you’d prefer to reduce your appetite for fair food rather than whetting it, blender shill Tom Dickson has a recipe you may want to try.

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