My sister and aunt are very very wealthy and I'm not. They are taking my stepmother out to dinner at a very expensive restaurant ($45 and up a plate) and just expect the entire family (some of whom are like me and not wealthy) to eat there and pay (not to mention the expensive wine). I think that if you expect others to pay, you should make the restaurant choice up to the entire group. They are making me feel ashamed that I just cannot afford it and don't want to put more on my credit card than I feel comfortable doing. I cannot afford, nor do I like, being extravagant. But I don't have a choice because I'm absolutely expected to be there and I'm staying with my stepmom.
Who is in the right? What should I do and say?
(Does it matter that I'm in stepmom's town, as everyone is, to attend my stepmother's kids' bnai mitzvah. I am flying across the country to attend and am staying with her, as a lot of people are. I would love to take her out just not to such an expensive restaurant, and I think it's inconsiderate for my sister to just assume that everyone can afford this. To her, it's practically a sin to not be wealthy. I'm not ashamed at all - in fact I'm proud that I'm more practical and not extravagant and don't put social standing above all else)
What are your thoughts? Anyone else with family members like this?