Should ugly people stay away from upscale restaurants?

Question

When CHers dine in a high-end restaurant, would they feel that the experience is spoiled by the presence of an ugly customer? I have hideous acne scarring all over my face, and I would like to know if foodies feel that should exclude me from better quality restaurants.

Answer

Why only "better quality" restaurants? Don't you look the same in Burger King as you do in Le Bernardin?

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NO NO and NO ...Speaking for me and mine....NO not a chance at all ever.This isn't in the same realm as smoking or really shirty children or boisterous drunks!!!!

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Oh my goodness, no! Shouldn't even have to be a consideration. And for anyone who feels otherwise, they have an inner ugliness problem far greater than any external lack of "perfect" aesthetics could display.

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If by ugly you mean loud, insensitive types who think the world revolves around them then yes, ugly people should stay away from upscale restaurants. Nothing else matters.

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That should never cross someone's mind. Everyone deserves to eat where they want to. The only problems I care about are attitude based.

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I am supposing here that you are asking an honest question and are not a troll looking for a heated response. (sorry, but that does happen here). In that case, outward appearance should not be a factor. Assuming you are suitably dressed for the type of restaurant and behave accordingly, why shouldn't you dine where you please? 

If you, personally, have an issue with your apearance, then that is a topic for another forum.

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Your condition is not really under your control. So no, it wouldn't be a concern. Unless you were actually popping zits at your table.

And before anyone laughs, I've seen it done.

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How does this question even enter someones mind?

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No.

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I ain't gunna win no pretty contest. I've always felt welcomed. Go for it, enjoy, don't worry about it.

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Absolutely no. You should dine where you would like! In my experience, most people in restaurants are thinking more about their dining experience (and their food!) than thinking about the appearance of other patrons.

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I think I remember having seen other threads on this board about "uncool," overweight, or older people receiving inferior service, being seated at the worst and least visible tables, etc. Maybe this is what the OP is referring to? It seems like this kind of discrimination is more likely to happen at "trendy" or "cool" restaurants rather than upscale ones, though.

Answer

Dear Lady,

Good Lord, no! So you had acne and have the scars to show it? Acne schmacne. In restaurants, as in life, beauty is as beauty does.

Answer

Ugly comes from behavior, not from how a person looks. If someone treats you in an negative way, for your scars, they are the ugly ones.

Please hold your head high, relax and enjoy. Your happiness will shine and that enhances everything.

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I wasn't even sure if this post was made in all seriousness - as long as your cash is green go out and enjoy yourself!

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I have never been refused service, due to my ugliness. However, some diners might have been offended, but that was never my intention.

I seldom really observe my fellow diners, other than to make a mental note of the wines they are having, or maybe a dish that looks so good, that I wish I had ordered that.

Just not something that I even consider, and do not feel that others have any fears, either.

A good friend has major scars from a wartime disaster, and I, plus no one else, has ever had a problem, when he's dining with us.

Hunt

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it is up to you..if you feel at ease,others will also

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You are Kidding, right?...Of Course, You are welcome!......Most of the diners are on their table, their food.

Frankly, my Dear........who gives a damn?.....to quote Rhett

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I have no doubt this is a serious thread. But with all due respect to MrsBridges. The original post is quite vague, which in turn leads people to speculate. Something must have happened to bring this subject up. Without a few more details it's kind of hard to help with a line of defense. Although that's her business whether she wants to or not.

Answer

No

Once we start down the road of banning folk with acne, it is only a small step to banning short, fat middle aged spectacle wearing men. And then, where would I be?

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I might feel uncomfortable if someone is so hideously disfigured that children regularly stop and point at that person upon seeing them in the street, but I think the onus is on me to tolerate it rather than that person avoiding going out in public.

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Seriously, no! In my experience, I've never seen a 'perfect person' at any restaurant. Work on your self esteem and don't let your outer cover get in the way of what you really are.

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I am stunned by the supportive replies. In a world that is often none-too-kind to unattractive women, it is heartening to find foodies who don't share the prejudice that I have often encountered. I can only infer that people with a serious interest in food really do judge by weightier qualities than appearance.

Some wondered what prompted me to write this post. I have been treated rudely in various kinds of businesses because of my appearance. Worst of all, though, was when a perfect stranger approached me at a charity dinner and told me that I should become a clown. That shook my social confidence quite a bit. Yes, only a jerkass would say something like that, but I really want to avoid that kind of attention.

Answer

loud talkers, cell phone users, tribes with a passel (my new word, thanks ham) of obnoxious and unwatched kids, stinky people....THEY should stay away from ANY restaurant. Acne scarring? Who cares

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As an especially "casual" dresser, I've gotten some weird looks and attitudes in more than a few places that I have stopped to eat. At the same time, I am lucky enough to be a decent enough looking guy that any frowning upon me has been based upon my clothing and not my fundamental appearance. Ultimately, however, I am saddened that you even thought/felt it necessary to ask the basic question in your OP. I say go where you want, ignore any sh*t you perceive - as best you can - and feel free to stiff any server who acts like a jerk. Be yourself, be strong, and be a 'hound (Oh, and feel free to post any wierdness directed at you here on our Boards - let your local friends know where you are treated poorly).

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For years I worked in oncology, and one young woman had a prosthetic nose--not attractive and clunky to apply, but it was that or an open hole. She, however, had a great sense of humor, and at Christmas, used one of those red Rudolph balls on the prosthesis. Said it was her way of getting back at all the buffoon starers all year.
Go out and enjoy your life.

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If only the "beautiful people" were allowed to dine at upscale restaurants there would only be 3 people able to patronize a place and none of them would actually be eating!

Answer

I hope your concerns have been alleviated by the positive responses in this thread.

But I mostly responded because the subject line of this post brought to mind this clip, which I've thought of myself when I go out in public feeling less-than-great:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N0yXGVWS1Y

Answer

MrsBridges, your post broke my heart for so many reasons. Please do not give credence or traction to the stupid people among us. As I age, I am in awe at the resilence and strength of the human spirit. Hold your head high (literally overlooking the base idiots you've encountered in the past) and treat yourself to whatever meal you desire knowing that so many of us are silently - and not so silently - cheering for you. 

I am among the last of the polio generation and wore a leg brace for a year after a mild bout with this scourge. That I was also buck-toothed, plump, freckled and 13 added to the horror. When my peers were turning from ugly ducklings to swans, I was firmly stuck in the UD camp with the despicable brown leather contraption strapped to my leg. Many years later, I can look back on this as a learning experience for it helped me gain understanding about the foibles of human beings. Some people were wonderful while others were deserving of a long, slow and painful death (in my estimation). In the end, those of us with visible physical defects can benefit from the tough lessons learned at the hands of the thoughtless. Granted, my problem is not openly visible today as yours is but the lessons and experiences remain valid.

Go and eat something wonderful! Would that there was a way we could join you for a celebratory meal! Go MrsBridges!!!

Answer

MrsBridges,
My heart breaks for you that you feel that ugly people should stay away from upscale restaurants.
Some of the most beautiful people I know are the most ugliest f*cks inside.

Never ever let anyone take away your power.

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Jeezus, no! Whatever your face or hair looks like doesn't matter at all, as long as you are clean, dreesed for the occasion, use decent manners and enjoy your meal.
When the mr. and I were just baby gators in our early 20's, he was burned very badly about the face and head in a small chemical mishap at his work. He was mummy wrapped and cooped up forever, but once he was off the pain pills and had no open wounds, we ate wherever we pleased, Upscale and downscale.And countinued to do so all throughout the surgeries that followed. 

Everyone deserves a delicious meal. And the only true ugly people and the mean, angry, and selfish.

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Dear lord, of course not. The fact the you find it necessary makes me want to exit the planet. I know that you have received a bunch of results and mine is probably irrelevant, but still.

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I really appreciate everyone's support. I've felt dragged down by small-minded people, and it sometimes makes me a bit paranoid. I'm developing a theory, wholly supported by the unanimous responses here, that people who are passionately interested in something, be it food, or the arts, or science, or history, whatever, are the people who look past the superficial when they determine what really matter.

Answer

Having suffered with some moderate acne scarring myself I completely understand where you are coming from. Don't let it stop you from doing anything, your own passion will shine through.

In the words of Auntie Mame - Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death, LIVE LIVE LIVE.

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Nominations:

1. Balding older men with comb-overs who dye their hair
2. Women with bad facelifts

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Who would want to go where only the beautiful can dine. YUCK!

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No! You're as entitled to eat in a restaurant as anyone else. Who's to say what is "ugly"?

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MrsBridges, you're kidding right?
just because you have scarring on your face you think someone would be put off by that?
my friend Kim is a gorgeous girl but has the worst acne scarring on her face even her Dermatologist had ever seen. she's had her whole face sandpapered, bleached, acid washed, I held her hand and let her hold onto my stainless steel balls to roll around in her hands to forget that her Dr. was using a Dremel sander on her, then stitched each and every one of the sores/holes he'd just created. she is married to a gorgeous man and has 3 beautiful daughters. she looks like she's been badly burned is all, but gorgeous.

DO NOT WORRY about a thing, you're fine, I'm sure of that.
and no put off HAIL no................

Answer

You should eat anywhere you want...if you are treated badly, let the manager know.

Answer

Is this a serious question? What do looks have to do with dining out? If you're hungry, and have the money....

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well. I'm not certain that I am ugly, but I am kind of plain. If anyone ever told me that I was not welcome at a certain restaurant, I would have no trouble trying my very best to destroy them by word of mouth.

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Well, if someone else is bothered by the looks of another patron whether it's their weight, distribution of fat, build, scars, lack of limbs, etc... that just speaks badly of that someone. It's their problem, not yours. As long as you are legally allowed to eat somewhere--end of discussion.

Answer

If anyone comments about your scars, give them a puzzled look and say...

"Scars? No thanks, I don't smoke."

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Define "ugly".

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What a horrible thing to think! Of course not. I am more put off by rude people, loud people, those who bring their ill-behaved children and mothers in law, and drunk people.

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That's absurd. If only the beautiful people were allowed to do upscale things then there certainly wouldn't be very many people doing those things!

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That is ridiculous that anyone would feel entitled to make you feel that way. If you ever find yourself in DC please message me. I will be proud to have you as my dining companion.

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