After a tap dance with Chest pains last week, my cardiologist has decided to invoke the most severe form of torture known to man on me, the modified low carbohydrate diet AKA The South Beach Diet.
I'm now on day 3 of the plan and have conquered my sugar and carbohydrate addictions to the point that I haven't lost my temper or threatened anyone's life in nearly 14 hours now.
This is no Atkins plan where you can take great pleasure on gorging excessive amounts of sirloin, pounds of bacon or snack on racks of lamb. The "modified" part of this diet means that your protein intake is limited to large quantities of lean protein such as boneless chicken breasts, fish and protein bars. Sugar is off limits, so forget takeout or making a nice marinade for them. Ugh.
The remainder of your daily calories are taken in in the form of leafy green vegetables and protein bars. Double Ugh.
While I can't enjoy the many tastes of Chicago until I drop 60 pounds or so, I can still revel in their memory. Here are some of my favorite things that the modified reduced carbohydrate diet will not allow me to partake of:
Johnnie's Italian beef
My favorite enchiladas from El Presidente
Penguin's incredible dulce de leche ice cream
Those awesome fried bananas on the side of the plate at El llano
Edna's fried chicken and Macaroni and cheese
Malay Charred Noodles at Hi Rickey
Pork Buns at any number of Chinatown places
Bahn Mi at Ba Le
Chili Dogs at Bob-O's on Irving Park
Tamales from the hot dog stand at Lawrence and Elston
Butter Burgers from Culvers
Fish and Chips at Cullens (ok, the fish more so than the chips)
Coffee and pastry at Julius Meinl
The Oyster Po Boy and Jambalaya at Blue Bayou
One of the better Monte Cristos in towm at Melrose Diner.
Lobster Bisque with my yuppie neighbors at Soup Box.
The Bailey Burger at Bailey's in Park Ridge
That big mound of kick ass potatoes under the duck breast with mole at Ixtaculzapo
Anything at Village Creamery
Mustard fried catfish at BJ's market
Spicy Lamb at Chen's across from Wrigley
White Castle (yes, it is my secret weakness).
Pots d' creme at Erwin.
Everything on the menu at Stanley's Tap.
Jibaritos at Borinquen
Did I miss anything?