Mourning and missing the humble and simple fried onion ring

I love battered and fried onion rings. They have often constituted my dinner.

Make that "good" onion rings. I do not eat them from chain fast-food joints: the onions are usually "minced and reconstituted," pre-breaded/battered, shipped frozen and then fried. Some places offer "real onion rings," which is a slight step up, but they are still frozen. I would rather eat my house slippers.

Like french fries (another compulsive peeve): Yes, I know. I can make them at home, and often do. It's a mess, though, and time-consuming.

Lately, some of my go-to independent burger joints that boast "fresh, hand-battered onion rings" are coming up woefully short: stringy single strand of onion encased in an over-fried or grease soggy and limpy crust/batter. Totally disappointing.

I want fresh, meaty and thick onion rings, soaked/hand-dredged/battered and fried until crisp on the outside, with the onion rings still meaty, moist, juicy and oniony.

Strangely, when I lived in Chicago before moving back home to Houston, my favorite onion rings were those fried to order at Popeye's. They have disappeared (Damn you, Popeye's).

Suggestions appreciated.