Invited to a birthday party at Minx in Glendale last night. To start, they charge $10 up front for valet. Did I mention this was in GLENDALE? Then they check my ID at the door and stamp my wrist. I tell the doorman, "they do this at Spago too." He gives me a dirty look. We had a reservation for 12 people. 11 of us were there, the 12th on the way so we cannot be seated. At the bar, a vodka tonic is $10. 90 minutes later we were lucky enough to sit down, not because our party took 90 minutes to get there, but because they don't have a table for us. The waitress comes over once we sit down for a lecture - to explain to all of us that if we would like to visit the club next door after dinner, we must all spend $25 per person. So now, they are telling us what we can order. Soup and salad? NOT FOR YOU! Anyway, I asked the waitress if that minimum included tax, since the main course my SO wanted was only $24. She said "24 is ok." Ohhhhhh, thanks. Unfortunately, that was the last we saw of her for about 35 minutes. After finally flagging her down, she says "oh, you are ready?" Duh. Some time later (it's after midnight by now) the food comes. Wow. If this is cuisine, I've been eating the wrong stuff. My SOs monkfish over lobster risotto might be the worst dish I have ever seen passed off as food in a place so packed. The risotto was cold, and I mean just-out-of-the-refrigerator cold. The monkfish, amazingly, was even colder. Like sushi. But cooked. Delicious. I ordered the ROCK of lamb. It's cooked in terra cotta. they come out and explain the process to you. fascinating. I ordered it medium rare. It was cold, and medium well. Rubber thinks that dish tastes bad. Then, the best thing happened, ever. while settling our bill, a fistfight broke out IN THE RESTAURANT. A great chance for me to whip out my "this happens at Spago all the time" joke. GLENDALE, its Fan-tastic! Anyway, I tell you this tale so that you do not make the same mistake of giving these people money. The balls on this place is unbelievable.