Dena asked, after lamenting her drowned tomato aspic, "does anyone have any kitchen disasters of their own to share? They're usually good for a laugh, once enough time has passed..."
I had one a few months ago, although it wasn't a total loss because I managed a quick save.
Company coming for dinner. Dessert is to be a berry tart. I had made Alice Medrich's "new tart shell," which is a low-fat thing, but yummy enough to make just because; it tastes like a crispy lemon cookie. But it's *really* fragile. Half an hour before they're due to arrive, I have assembled my washed and dried berries, my lemon curd, and my glaze (all of which softens up the tart shell for a couple of hours before you slice it). When I went to get the shell, stored in the pan in a Ziploc bag, it--GASP!--slipped out of my hand and completely shattered, leaving me with a tart tin full of pieces, too many to "glue" together decently. I scratched my head, then banged the tart shell around ome more to get even smaller pieces. I got out some ramekins and layered tart-shell shards and lemon curd, arranged the berries on top, and glazed them.
Now, I wouldn't have minded telling these particular folks what happened and laughing over it then...but I didn't mention it. Sara Moulton did impart one sage piece of advice once: "Make it look nice and pretend that's exactly how you meant it to turn out."
P.S. When I was a kid, we had some brown stains on our ceiling for a while from when a pressure cooker blew...