FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE -- Governor's Office
Today, the Governor has announced 11th-hour clemency for a convicted felon who has been on death row since 1990. The prisoner, a foreign 5Q braiser, was convicted in 1989 of capital conspiracy to dismay cooks, a Class A felony in this state. It was also Mr. Braiser's third and final conviction under the state's "Three Strikes" law. Braiser, 53, was once a leading member of the notorious Le Creuset gang, had a long record of doing injury to food, and other malicious mischief.
The Governor had previously denied several of Braiser's clemency requests as holding no merit (e.g., "I heat evenly"; "I'm not the worst"; and "I'm pretty good looking").
Nevertheless, the Governor was moved to grant clemency by the rehabilitation shown by Mr. Braiser's cover. A Proline skillet in the penitentiary kitchen reluctantly spoke in favor of Braiser at the hearing. Said the Governor: "While I could have hoped we could have found our Proline a cover with basting nibs, it is right and fitting that Braiser be spared Potter's Field, and be allowed to help others in a positive, domed way."
Braiser has donated what would have been his last meal, a Bouilabaisse, to a support group for other reformed Le Creuset gang members.