So you meant to grill a mess of peppers and onions, brine cabbage into sauerkraut, pound mustard seeds with vinegar and herbs, grind fresh meat and spices into sausage. But where did the time go? None of those things happened. Now you're just one long commercial break from the first pitch of the World Series, and you need a hot dog FAST.
Take your store-bought sausage of choice, cut a few slashes in it (not too deep, just enough so it won't rupture in cooking), put it in the microwave and hit the button.
Take your store-bought hot dog bun, preferably kind of soft, and push it open and flatten it a bit, carefully, so as not to break it. Put it in the toaster oven and hit the button.
Put a spoonful or two of bottled sauerkraut on the cutting board and pat out the excess liquid with a paper towel. Put a thin slice of red or white onion on top. Chop kraut and onion coarsely and toss into a small bowl. Add a spoonful or two of prepared mustard and mix it all up.*
Slice the hot sausage in half lengthwise. Spread the mustard mixture evenly inside the toasted bun. Lay the sausage halves in the bun, getting some of the mustard between the two pieces. If the bun is long, stagger the halves so meat extends the length of the hot dog.**
Squeeze the bun around the sausage, take your position in front of the television and -- Play ball!
Repeat as needed during later commercial breaks.
* Some like it hot. If that's you, omit the sauerkraut. For a vegetal heat, chop a bit of jalapeno or serrano chile with the onion. Or, spike the onion mixture with hot sauce. If you used a hot link or other spicy sausage, resist the temptation to add chile to the condiments.
** You may want to add tomato ketchup. If so, you are most likely an Angels fan and I cannot help you :) Go Giants!