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Entertaining & Etiquette 63

Etiquette question (re: BYO and food) when hosting a birthday party?

Amariel13 | Jan 19, 201507:11 PM

My birthday is coming up in a couple of months and I have been thinking about hosting a Murder Mystery Night. For those of you unfamiliar with them, it's basically a game where all attendees are given a character and are required to solve the question of who the murderer is over the course of the evening. Some games require attendees to dress up, whereas others are more casual. The game usually takes place over dinner. This is something that some of my friends and I have been interested in doing for a while, so my birthday just seemed like the perfect excuse. Anyway, I'll be needing to spread the word about the MMN soon (I need an idea of numbers so that I can order a game with enough characters for everyone).

My partner and I were discussing the event last night, and he said something about asking everyone to help out with food. I told him that this was pretty rude - we're hosting the event, so therefore we should provide our guests with food (it'll most likely be done cocktail style anyway, so that the game can be played around eating). I said that the only way I wouldn't consider this rude is if guests asked me what they could bring, in which case I would have a couple of finger food type dishes in mind to tell them. He still doesn't agree. Would you find it rude if someone was hosting a birthday party (only a 25th, nothing special) at their home and asked you to bring along a dish to help with catering?

And, whilst we're on the topic, would it be rude to ask our guests to BYO? Most events held amongst our friends (including New Years Eve, Christmas do's, and house parties) are BYO and, as this isn't a standard dinner party (which I most certainly would supply drinks for), I was wondering whether the same rule could be applied. We would supply non-alcoholic drinks (such as water, soft drinks and juices). Would you think it was rude if you were asked to BYO?

Thanks for bearing with me everyone, I'm just feeling a little lost! I've never held a dinner party for more than 6 people before (for which I would provide everything) and wasn't sure if this would fit in the same category or would be more of a casual gathering.

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