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General Discussion

Dear Santa, . . .

MGZ | Dec 19, 201406:32 AM     9

Sure. It's late. I know. The thing is, my annual letter to the Kringle's was just yesterday returned to me with the mail (something about how, due to budgetary cutbacks, the US Postal Service no longer makes deliveries above 75 degrees North latitude - Thanks a lot, Voters). So, it's up to the Internet to get my missive through.

This year, I'm really hoping to get one of those "______ of the Month Club" thingys. I used to think they were kinda lame, but, I don't know, as I've gotten older, the idea of having a perishable item show up at my doorstep every thirty days has growing appeal. I'm pulling most for "cheese" or "steak," but I'm pretty open-minded (and easily swayed to other thoughts). Bacon would be fine (although reaching a Kardashian-like level of over-popularity), and, obviously, jellies would be pretty sweet.

Also, I'd like a gift certificate to one or more online spice emporiums. Even the Sea Salt Superstore would be cool. Somehow, it's just more fun to spend other people's money when having Kaffir lime leaves overnighted from Thailand or experimenting to determine how much difference there really is to various black peppercorns.

A truffle big enough to put on a tee (or, at least, print the word "Titleist" on.

Some old cookbooks would likewise be very welcome and appreciated. I get a real kick out of the time machine quality of 'em. Bonus, if they are old enough to include recipes for squirrel and/or contain a chapter devoted to cleaning freshly felled waterfowl.

I don't want to seem too greedy, so I should probably just stop there. Nevertheless, Mr. Claus, you and I go pretty far back (and there was that time I helped Dasher and Vixen out with that little "thing" in Springfield - I'm sure you recall). So, if you, let's say "accidentally," left those North Korean hackers stuck in my chimney next Wednesday night, I'll take it from there*

So, what about you folks? What do you want to see under the tree? What would be worth the scotch tape and nine dollar paper wrapping for my fellow food geeks?**

* Not the Sony ones. Hell, I don't care about them - it's a James Franco movie for chrissakes. I want the Chowhound ones, OK?

** If I missed the 2014 version of the wish list, I'm sorry. I did look for it. Feel free to post a link so I can record my desires there. I need to get my message to the jolly old man.

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