Cocktails before wine

I love having a small strong cocktail before dinner -- that tasty cold jolt of alcohol really hits the spot after a stressful day. But cocktails don't go with food, IME. I can't drink them in sufficient quantity to quench the thirst without passing out.

I love wine with dinner, but I find that after a cocktail, my ability to enjoy it is somewhat impaired.

Excessive tipsiness is a consideration (I'm a bit of a lightweight and prone to Asian flush), but here I'm talking mainly about progression of flavors, and giving the palate a sensible arc over the course of a meal.

I find that sours and tropical cocktails seem to knock my palate out of whack the most, in which case I usually switch over to beer for the meal proper (not really a problem if the dinner is Mexican or Asian). But when I start out with a more savory cocktail (e.g. gin Martinis and the like), sometimes wine is OK, but only if it's big, or very simple.

I'm curious if anyone else can relate, and/or share any strategies for dealing with this EXTREMELY serious issue? :)