I was cohosting a Canada Day bbq with a friend of mine at her condo. She said I was cohosting, so it isn't like I misunderstood that.
Her condo is open concept, so the living room and kitchen are in the same room.
There were about 15 people there. We're all in our 20's. Everyone was drinking (there were cupcake with shots on them, just as an idea). It wasn't formal by any means.
About 3 hours into the party, her tiny kitchen had gotten so messy that it was impossible for guests to put dirty dishes down, or anyone to put any food down on the counter, or garbage anywhere. I had gone to the kitchen with two other guests to get something to eat/drink when I saw this.
Since I wasn't the only host, and almost everyone else was playing cards against humanity, while drinking, I decided I would tidy the kitchen. Nothing big just garbage in the garbage, bottles in a bag for recycling, and dishes stacked in the sink (I didn't even rinse them). The two other guests I was with were talking with other people as well, and didn't mind hanging out in the kitchen with me (I asked).
When my friend/cohost saw me she, publicly and in front of everyone, loudly enough for everyone to hear, told me to stop cleaning. I was a little embarrassed but she walked away. So I just joked with one of the people who was standing there with me to not tattle on me.
Then, about 6 hours later, it had reached the same state. Most people had left, and there were about 6 people there, including us two hosts.
The 6 people who were there were much closer friends (one of which my husband), and they were playing a conan the barbarian drinking game. It wasn't my want or idea to even watch conan (sorry Arnie, I hate that movie), so I figured I'd (in the extremely open concept room) quietly tidy. I asked the cohost if she was okay with me dumping some very old, very stale cream based shots down the sink. She said yes. But when she saw me, gasp, clear an area to do so in, and put some garbage away. Again, I got scolded. Publicly.
Her reasoning was that it would make the guests feel unwelcome or that they had to leave. I was always raised to tidy throughout when there is someone else hosting with you, and that if there is no where to put something, yous hould make room for it. Being a slob wasn't exactly kosher. So for me, I did LESS cleaning than I normally would have.
Also, I didn't figure drunk people, some of which I didn't know their names as they were uninvited guests, who didn't even see me get up, would care. And with the conan, literally one guy was drunk enough he didn't have a shirt on.
IS it as rude or taboo as she acted? Was I being really rude?
Personally, I was more hurt by how she handled it. If she had pulled me aside, it wouldn't have been anything more than what I would have chalked up to being raised differently.