Butcher Grind Cracked Black Pepper?

Many moons ago I used to buy McCormick's Butcher Grind Black Pepper which they discontinued a long time ago. It was pepper similar to the size you get when you crush peppercorns with the bottom of a pan. I love steak, pork chop, chicken au poivre and this pepper was the correct size and was a real time (and mess) saver. Amazon has something called cracked black pepper but I think it's too small. I know I've checked @ my local Penzey's and they didn't have it either. Anyone know a source either brick and mortar or online? Thanks!