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Restaurants & Bars

bond -- don't bother

hotoynoodle | Mar 12, 200910:12 AM     8

went last night with a group.

the room is gorgeous, although i couldn't understand the very cheap looking posters in the window arches. they were meant to be cartoonish high-denomination bills, but just looked cheesey.

the back server only filled the water glasses half-way, although i was pleased they didn't try to push bottled water. our server was clearly stretched too thin and we had an inordinate amount of trouble getting her attention and then ever having her return. she was smiley and very pleasant while dealing with us though. she described the menu and recommended 3 small plates PLUS a large plate to make a meal. i instinctively knew that would be too much food.

i started with the duck prosciutto, which sounded promising. it was sliced paper thin but served on relatively large slices of spiced poached pear, so all you really tasted was fruit. even just a small bite of pear with the meat overwhelmed it. others had the torchon, which again suffered from a strange sense of proportion. a tiny wedge of toast for a pretty large serving of foie. a fruit we *thought* might be a crabapple, but poached to sweetness, also was on the plate.

we shared the bread basket, everything was warm and came with good butter, delicious tapenade and a garlicky bean spread.

i then had the clam and chorizo pizza, which was thin and crispy, but the clams were cooked to be bits of rubber and the chorizo only tasted of salt. it was a very large small plate -- 6 slices-- and i shared most of it.

my neighbor had the escargot, which was in a small open round of tartshell and swimming in a thick flavorless bechamel. it reminded us all of a deconstructed hot-pocket. not to mention, the menu said nothing about it being in pastry. bad, bad. we actually were laughing at it, it was so bad.

in between courses, i got up and asked a server where the restroom was. he actually said, "i don't know." are you kidding me? "it's my first day," was his reply. i managed on my own to find it, lol.

last course i ordered the "lamb tagine" which came in a very cute ceramic tagine pot, but was actually meatballs of a very grainy texture. i make lamb meatballs all the time. these seemed like the meat had been pureed. the sauce was pleasantly spiced, but i only ate 2 of the meatballs because the texture was so disarming. there were 5 meatballs, so again, not a small portion. others had the lamb chops, which were strangely thin and came with a mountain of prunes -- we counted 10. 2 smallish chops, why soooooo much fruit? one person had the burgers -- 2 slider-sized with a small cone of skinny fries -- which he enjoyed.

we all were too full for desert.

the lights dimmed dramatically at 9:00 and our server took off her jacket. i guess that must be sexy-time.

the room was full of 30-somethings in suits, both men and women. the high ceilings make it a very noisy room when it's busy. by the time we were leaving at about 9:30, the place had only men in suits.

it's extremely close to my work. i was too disappointed to return.

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