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My afternoon with Tony Bourdain

Puffin3 | Jan 15, 201507:31 AM

Recently I spent some time with Tony Bourdain.
I happened to be on the same tropical beach as he was. Right away I spotted Tony. Lots of people were saying “Hi” and nodding.
I walked over and said “Hi Tony”. At the same time we both noticed we had the exact same short sleeved button down shirts on. Same colour! We both laughed.
We started talking and before I knew it we were sitting in a beach bar drinking shots and cold beers and having a fun relaxed time. I think Tony was relived to be with someone who wasn’t coming across all ‘starry eyed’.
There were ‘bikinis’ EVERYWHERE!
I said something about how I was seriously thinking of moving to this tropical paradise and opening one of these beach bars and let the rest of the ‘effing’ world go by. (I thought he’d get a kick out of me using the ‘F’ word’ like he does.)
About this time his fans began to buy us drinks and then a whole table of free seafood was sent to our table.
I noticed he never said “no” to anyone. What a great guy.
He told me he was thinking of investing in sort of a ‘Tiki bar’ somewhere in Montana. He said “That’s where the real money is going to be”. I wondered about that. He asked me if I had enough money to open a beach bar. I said “sure” but in the back of my mind I’m thinking if I could somehow get Tony to invest he’d never know how broke I really was.
He asked if I could prove I had the money.
About this time I noticed he was sort of ‘lingering’ more and more around the fans who were paying for our ‘freebies’. It felt like the more drinks and food they bought him the more ‘familiar’ they felt they could act with him. I thought ‘what’s that about Tony?” (Remember that episode with the nut-case billionaire in Singapore, I think, who wanted Tony to “speak” in a NJ accent?) Anyway it struck me that he was actually just ‘mooching’ off these increasingly more obnoxious fans. I was getting a bit leery and drunk and disappointed now. My mind was telling me: “Don’t let him get his hands on your flight home money!

Then I woke up. No shit. It was all a dream from last night.
I’ve just finished watching many hours of AB’s reruns on TV and Youtube and rereading his fiction books over the Christmas season.
I think I need to take a serious AB ‘Time-Out’.
(I have my TV recording machine set for when any of his episodes come on just in case I were to miss one I haven’t already recorded.)

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