There is now a human being walking around with a business card that says Urban Chicken Consultant, The Atlantic’s Atlantic Cities blog informs us. The Chicago woman teaches would-be poultry farmers how to set up coops and care for chickens, though as of yet she hasn’t wrested a full-time job out of it.

So what other new businesses will emerge as the foodism trend continues to simmer? Our top six predictions:

Chicken Butchering and Exchange Service: The Atlantic Cities article implies the Big Thing about animal husbandry without spelling it out—no one wants to kill the little chickie that’s spent years clucking and scratching around their backyard and obligingly making eggs. On the other hand, do you want to become an old-age home for chickens that have stopped laying? This service will remove your chicken(s) and return to you chicken corpses, ready to cook, from some other backyard poultry owner. Thus you may assure your children with impunity, “No, this is not Cluckie.”

Precious Chef Kitchen Design: This is the service for those who’d like to get into making sausage and cured meat, preserving produce, wiping wheels of cheese down in the larder with cheesecloth, and such. Said culinary tasks require special equipment, you will find, and this consulting service outfits you with all of it. Warning: Larders do not come cheap these days. Of course, you will also need to engage its sister service …

Precious Chef Kitchen Repair: Inevitably your Anti-Griddle or your $900 ice cream maker will break down. If you try taking it to Sears, they will laugh at you.

Mobile Deep-Fryer: Practically no one has a FryDaddy in their kitchen anymore, much less one stocked at all times with clean, fresh oil. Call the Deep-Fry Guy for all your frying needs; the truck will be over in 20 minutes, or you get a free order of deep-fried macaroni and cheese.

The Aging Hut: Who doesn’t want homemade bacon and aged steaks? Anyone who’d like to use their home refrigerator’s space to store actual, non-“project” food. Drop your meat off at the Aging Hut instead for worry-free aging at perfect temperature and humidity levels.

Stock Processing Service: How the bones pile up in the freezer, waiting for you to make stock. But the thought of sitting around all day while it simmers, then dealing with a huge, slippery pot filled with steaming, greasy stock makes you want to go see what’s new on the Internet instead. The Home Stock Service collects your bones and trimmings and returns gelatinous stock to you, ready to go into the freezer.

Image source: isak55/Shutterstock

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