Part tutorial, part confessional, and part totally helpful how-to guide, this chef-blogger’s guide for young people on how to throw a simple, successful dinner party is as entertaining as it is practical.

It’s also got some killer lines:

On the difficulty of acquiring good taste in food as a young person even if you work in a restaurant: “Even if you suffer the Dickensian misfortune of working in a professional kitchen at that age, your exposure to good food won’t have much of an effect on your taste as you’ll be too busy cutting off your fingers to broaden your horizons.”

On the difficulty of impressing young women with your knowledge of food even if you happen to acquire it: “22-year-old girls rarely want to hear lectures about artisanal cheese production; they’re at that party to drink Icehouse and catch chlamydia.”

And on the importance of follow-through on the part of guests: “Show up if you say you will…. People will RSVP in writing and verbally, and still manage to not show up to your shindig because they had to go see some shitty indie-rock band.”

If you’re young, read this and learn something. If you’re old, read this and laugh knowingly. And regardless of your age, get your act together and fire up the oven or the grill or the deep-fat fryer. There are friends to entertain.

Image from Mushakesa/Shutterstock

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