The idea of draft beer pourable at your restaurant table conjures up visions of putting your mouth on the spigot and reliving your finest collegiate moments.

Not so, for better or worse: A report from an Irish bar in Lexington, Kentucky, gives all the details on Table Taps, and they’re far more sane than you’d think.

All that’s currently on offer is a selection of four crappy macrobrewed domestics; at the Kentucky pub, an initial purchase gets the patron 32 ounces of sudsy, flavorless beer, the equivalent of 16 ounces of decent imported stuff or 12 ounces of serious Belgian brew.

After that initial 32-ounce rush is tapped out, further beers need to be requisitioned from the servers, which sort of defeats the purpose of having the power of unlimited beer in the first place. Management can even cut off the flow of beer by pressing a button in the back, a lot easier than wresting a drink out of a belligerent patron’s hand.

The 32-ounce limit isn’t built into the Table Taps system; each drinking establishment sets its own limit on how much the spigots will dispense. One Georgia establishment, for example, drew the line at 180 ounces of beer per table.

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