Boing Boing points the way to the fabulous faux jingle by Carl Willat called “The TJ’s Song,” set to the wistful tune of Antonio Carlos Jobim’s classic “Waters of March,” and extolling TJ’s highs and lows like “the peanut butter made of sunflower seeds,” “10 kinds of soy milk that all taste the same,” and “the apple juice that’s as addictive as crack”:

The whole song is catchy, but the part that moves me is the line about “your favorite stuff they don’t have anymore.” As any TJ’s shopper knows, the high you get from scoring a pound of walnut pieces for $4.29 is inevitably accompanied by the agony of watching a favorite product disappear (how I miss you, soy and chorizo taquitos and butternut squash ravioli). The pain of losing a food you’ve grown to love is so acute that it fuels a board at the Trader Joe’s fan site and an epic Chowhound thread.

No, TJ’s fans, the frozen chicken masala and the mandarin orange sauce will not be back. But on rare occasions, if you can figure out the major manufacturer that makes any of Trader Joe’s private-label goods, you can find a reasonable facsimile of gone-but-not-forgotten foods.

As to why Trader Joe’s sheds products so often, the official Trader Joe’s site says that some products are seasonal, others have to go to make way for new products, and still others are discontinued because TJ’s can’t get a good price from manufacturers.

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