The Editor’s Corner over at Yahoo! News UK has reprinted a complaint letter written by a disgruntled Virgin Atlantic passenger documenting his self-described “culinary journey of hell” aboard the airline. And the letter was apparently so effective that Sir Richard Branson personally called the author, Oliver Beale, regarding the feedback.

But how could he not after reading passages like this:

“Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it’s Christmas morning and you’re sat there with your final present to open. It’s a big one, and you know what it is. It’s that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.

“Only you open the present and it’s not in there. It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing. That’s how I felt when I peeled back the foil … Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking it’s more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It’s mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month. On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato. The potato masher had obviously broken and so it was decided the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird.”

Yahoo! UK has since reported that Branson has invited Beale to Virgin Atlantic’s catering house to “help select the food on future Virgin flights.”

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