Fruit bouquets have become an increasingly large slice of the ever-lucrative “romantic gestures” market. How large? One company, Edible Arrangements, did $300 million in sales in 2008. And at least two other competing chains have stores from coast to coast, according to the authoritative Wall Street Journal report on bouquets recipients are expected to eat.

If you’ve ever wanted to read the musings of a hand-picked panel of basket recipients dishing on the best and worst of fruit bouquets, the WSJ has you covered. A sample of the article’s bounty of thoughtful, precise edible bouquet criticism:

“The sales rep to our local store subbed out the standard container for a bright red pail that said ‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’ When packaged with the fruit—chocolate-covered Granny Smith apple slices and chocolate-covered and plain strawberries, plus pineapples, cantaloupe and grapes—it made for a colorful presentation. On the positive side: The strawberries were the ripest of any in our arrangements. On the negative: The apple slices were rather sloppily done, detracting from the overall look.”

The big loser among the options: a bouquet of dried fruit, which has a withered appearance reminiscent of death.

“Even the company’s owner, Leila Kaghazian, said she is ‘not a big fan of dried fruit,’ but she wanted to offer a long-distance gift option to her local customers.”

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