Billy Head, the AP reporter moniker most likely to star in a film about a sexually adventurous part-time electrician, reports on a Madagascan vanilla plague that is sweeping the world’s main exporter of the delicious spice pods.

A complete replanting of the island’s crop with a disease-resistant strain may be necessary to save the industry. Surging global demand for vanilla helped set the stage for the plague, says the report; unregulated planting led to poorly irrigated fields of plants set too close together.

Who can save the world’s vanilla supply now? Perhaps the world must seek the services of Billy Head, sexually adventurous phytopathologist!

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