The Starbucks employees who hang out at Jim Romenesko’s unaffiliated-with-the-coffee-giant site Starbucks Gossip might be distracting themselves from the company’s scary slide in profits, because they’ve been having a grand time posting to the thread “What have you said to a customer that you immediately regretted?

As you would expect, gender mix-ups—”Can I help you, sir?”; “I’m a ma’am”—and unintentional double-entendres—”I’ve over-creamed my coffee” and “Ma’am, just a minute, let me grab your muffin for you”—are among the top reasons a barista has to excuse herself from the floor and run into the stock room to hide.

Other lessons learned include don’t lecture pregnant women about their caffeine consumption—especially when they aren’t really pregnant. And as this story from “bigredbarista” illustrates, always, always turn off the microphone in your drive-through headset if you’re going to trash the customers:

“I was answering a call in the DTO and this lady had a screaming child and I literally couldn’t hear her. After taking her order (which I butchered) she pulled up, but not far enough to shut off my headset. I didn’t even noticed and started talking about how annoying the brat was in her back seat. She confronted me at the window … Let’s just say [these days] I always press my headphone off after taking an order!”

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